Comparing, Compromise and Confidence

A post in the parts

Compare – ‘to examine two objects in order to note similarities and differences’.
Is it natural to compare myself to others constantly? Noticing where my friends succeed in comparison to my failers? The continuous notion of feeling a lesser version of myself based on an outward portrayal of others. This is easily manifested in social media. Watching people I digitally admire galavant around the world through my phone screen. Does this enrich my life or more importantly my personal well being?
In so few a words. Yes.

Knowing where I sit in the world is comforting, comparing yourself, if done right, motivates me to achieve and succeed. Does it matter that my friends have finished university at 22 and I still have a year left at 24? No. It matters that I am at university doing what I love and we are in the same position of working out where we stand in the world together.
Comparing yourself to be like someone else is a waste of time. You will never be that person. So don’t waste your time trying to be. Be inspired or motivated by your comparisons, but be who you are. Find your interests and use them to your advantage. In primary school, I used to get bullied for wearing clothes I loved. I questioned my choices and actions and tried to fit in with the ‘popular people’. Even after these modifications, I was still me but in the wrong body. I wanted to wear my favourite clothes but wore what everyone else had, and was still picked this time for trying to fit in. I learnt from my mum that if you can’t join them beat them. I wore exactly what I wanted and stopped comparing myself to people who aren’t my peers.
I compare.

Compromise.
Compromise – ‘acceptance of standards that are lower than is desirable’.
I hold myself to the highest standards, on purpose because I know my capabilities. I’ve always known what I’ve wanted and stuck up for it. I don’t compromise, my personal feelings or my outward emotions. If I’m pissed off, you’ll know.
that saying ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’. Is total rubbish, if you’ve been hurt, pissed off, or mad as hell, let it be known. Shout from the roof tops. My voice won’t be quashed by being polite, I won’t compromise for the benefit of not hurting you when you have hurt me.
I won’t compromise.

Confidence
‘the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something’.
Having confidence within in yourself comes with time, I’ve learnt that the hard way. I was never confident in my capabilities, knowledge, personality, any part of my life. I was a shell of who I was meant to be. That awkward teen stage hit me hard. I retreated within myself. I felt like everyone was so together and charming, yet I couldn’t string a sentence together in front of a stranger. Then I got my first job, working in a clothing shop and earning some pocket money gave me freedom and confidence to do things I’d have never done before. The unattainable was now within grasp. A Lulu Guinness bag I had wanted for months was my first purchase when I got paid, it cleared my account but it didn’t matter. I had this bag and nothing could stop me. The bag was symbolic of my arrival into myself. My confidence came from a purchase that meant something to me and it just went from there. I tried new things and sucked at most of them, then tried more, made friends had adventures. not I can crack jokes and be charming in front of strangers and not care.
I am confident.

I WORE

Dress- Miss Suki | Jeans – Primark | Shoes – Dr Martens | Bag – Stella McCartney | Earrings – ( old sorry) sunglasses – Forever21 (old)

60’s Summer Dress

If only this was my bike and I could have ridden around all day with Hayden not having a care in the world. Instead, we explored by foot.

I’m trying out headscarves at the moment, what do you think? Are they past it? As a teen, I used to always wear something in my hair and have since lost the skill.

Dress – Vintage ( there are dresses on Etsy, from Lazarus) | head scarf – vintage | trainers – Converse* | Bag – Fiorucci | Earrings – Tommy Hilfiger

An Interview with Peter Becker

Peter Becker is playing Fredrich in War Horse currently at the Mayflower Theatre, in Southampton from the 16th May to 9th June. I’m so humbled to have been given the opportunity to interview Peter on an overcast summers day.

Dressed in his War Horse costume, a World War 1 German Uniform, Peter looked statuesque and comfortable in his costume. I was greeted with a beaming smile and a firm handshake.

 

We interviewed in the Mayflower’s bar, in deep red velvet chairs, by big sash window. Peter not looking out of place against the decor. We quickly established our mutual connection, Germany, of course.
Peter spoke openly about his hometown and how he was influenced by theatre at a young age. His childhood home has one of the largest open-air theatres. Throngs of people descended on the town to visit each year and naturally drew Peter there too. Peter has worked on countless German plays, tv shows and movies and is currently in some UK shows, that will be aired soon. You would have seen Peter in Babylon Berlin and Der Untergang der Pamir (The sinking of the Pamir)

Peter is the first German person to play the role of Fredrich in War Horse. The weight of such a position was not lost on Peter. He felt that there is such little remembered of the German soldiers that to highlight their role in the war was important to document with integrity and dignity. ‘Giving a voice to the German soldiers’ to decipher what ‘unites them not separates them’. Of course what unites them is Joey and on some level Tophorn. A play that is really Europian a communal acknowledgement of the First World War.

Speaking about the connection Peter had with the Joey was really astounding. Peter improvised with the puppeteers two weeks before production. Uniquely Peter improvised in German with the puppet. Joey responded to the German commands with lit Peter’s eyes on recollection. Peter had’ always wanted’ to be in War Horse ever since seeing it in London.

Finally to conclude I asked Peter what memento he would take with him, from the experience. I was thinking what answer I would give if the roles were reversed. I would take part of my uniform, or Joey. Peter laughed when I suggested Joey. ‘I wouldn’t be able to see the TV, he’d fit on my balcony though, there are a few trees he can nibble on’. After a moments thought Peter settled on a photograph of his wife and daughter. In the play Fredrich is missing a daughter he’s not seen in years. The stanislavski method of acting, if my A-level drama knowledge is what it used to be.

If you have the opportunity to see War Horse in the Mayflower or anywhere on tour please do. It’s such an important play to see, beautiful puppetry, incredible story and visible dedication and skill from everyone.

Thank you, Peter Becker, for the opportunity to talk to and interview you. To the Mayflower Theatre for making this interview happen.

Monochrome Summer Style

black in summer is so underrated. Black pieces against pale skin or a more glowing complexion black can take any look form a 5 to and 8 instantly. black dresses are timeless and chic and perfect for running around town in or sitting in a beer garden soaking up the sun. This little one I’ve had for years and has never failed me. The underskirt needs a little attention but it’s so flattering and the perfect length to tan my pins. Worn with the perfect ‘business’ jacket from LOTD and white trainers with contrasting laces.

I wore

dress- Similar, Similar | jacket – LOTD | Trainers – Converse* | Sunglasses – Boohoo

The Barn at Avington

I’ll be honest, I though weddings or my wedding was a bit “off brand” for me personally and professionally. But I’ve been to a few family wedding and I loved them all. So romantic and unforgettable. I guess weddings are 100% up my street “on brand”.

I’m 24 and my cards are still on the table, so I don’t know what kind of wedding I want. I always dreamed of eloping but someone, i’m looking at you H is a million percent not having it. So I guess I’ll be surrounded by my loved ones as they congratulate me as i get married. Nothing sounds worse, then having a beautiful day in a dress getting married in-front of my family and friends and telling everyone i got hitched and smiling and laughing at the best day of my life… come on.
Enough of me talking about myself, The Barn at Avington is why we are all here.
A new wedding venue that has spring up out of the Winchester countryside is The Barn at Avington. A beautiful newly renovated barn with more space then most, surrounded by rolling hills, local cottages and beautiful woods. There is also a lake, incase you thought this place didn’t have everything. Just over the lake you get a glimpse of a local vineyard. It’s beautiful and idyllic, it’s perfection manifested in a wedding venue.
 With on site cottages for family to stay in, sleeping up to 14 and the glamping site just up the road there is really no need to stay at a hotel and drive to the wedding the worry about getting back to your hotel after a glass or two, a destination wedding without the plane ticket.
The concept of the Barn is to have a really bespoke unique wedding. There is no conveyer belt service here. The idea is to take your time have a week or weekend at The Barn have a decorating party first day you arrive get everything ready. Time to relax then get married and party the night away, Wake up have a BBQ relax pack down, to finally drive home when safe to do so.
The Barn have really gone that one step further and curated a really expensive list of suppliers. Don’t be fooled everyone on the list has be vetted. From all different types of bands to light up signs to live sketches, everything as been thought of. You want it? The Barn will help you find it. The resources they have at their finger tips is really something to utilise.
I arrived for a press day not really knowing what to expect, When people say barn, I automatically think mud. There was no mud in sight. It is a barn but it’s so much more.
On the press day tables were set by local suppliers and arranged with such flourish that I wanted them to decorate my home. The tableware really stole it for me Crystal Hire Ltd had the most beautiful pieces that it really added a more decadent feel the the rustic aesthetic. The whole place was styled by Linen and Lace Events, who I’d like to style all my birthdays from now on.
We were given a tour and treaded to drinks and snacks then we walked the few steps it took to the ceremony space outdoors by the late. Soon to be pontoon to have your ceremony out on the late. No officially wedding license (yet?) but you can get married in Winchester and have a ceremony at The Barn, a jumping the broom, or trying the knot.
We were invited to visit The Glade also which is a really show piece. An A frame structure fit for 2. Possible a newly married couple? Nestled within a bluebell forest with magnificent views. The out door living space gives you a truly open kitchen and a bathroom right into the woods. An optional seating area at the first pit or would you prefer the old stone water tank to take in your evening view of paradise?
Thank you The Barn at Avington ( Rebecca)lin for having me, please have I have my Birthday here? It’s not in wedding season.
For more information : http://www.avingtonholidays.co.uk/the%20barn.html

Ralph Lauren Mens Shirt

Tailored items are a winner when it comes to pulling an outfit together. The age old, ‘throw a blazer on’ has been all over the internet and fashion realms. Tailoring is great to give your silhouette definition.  A piece that’s sometimes over looked is the shirt. More importantly the mens shirt worn on a more feminine frame.

European styling at it’s finest. An Italian tan leather jacket off set by some light blue mom jeans,  and classic leopard print block heels.

Leather Jacket- vintage | Jeans – Primark | shoes – next | mens shirt – Ralph Lauren | Sunglasses – Boohoo| Necklace – Lovisa

 

 

Genderless Clothing & Paleontology

Dippy – Diplodocus | Dorset County Museum 

 Dippy stayed in the Victorian hall which is very fitting for a globe trotting dino. He/She wouldn’t have settled for anything less. Dippy is over 100 years old and tours the globe inspiring new generations of scientists. The next Ross Geller could be among us.

I learnt so much about Dippy but couldn’t find Dips gender, which ties in perfectly to my T-shirt. It’s genderless clothing from Zara. Designed with no gender boundaries other then making a cute shirt for anyone to buy. Of course you can shop in either section no matter what just I really enjoy the inclusivity that Zara are promoting.

If you do get the chance to see Dippy in their tour of the UK please do, you’ll learn a lot and get to be Ross for a day. Next Stop Birmingham.

 

I wore

Genderless t shirt – Zara | Jeans – Primark | Shoes – Converse via footway*

Vintage Ralph Lauren

 

I wouldn’t say I was a vintage expert, but I do know a thing or two about bargain hunting. My most recent bargain is this vintage Ralph Lauren mens shirt. I love over sized shirts and spotted this one a mile off. If you saw on my Insta stories you’d have seen me trying out how to wear it. The prep look is something I can easily pull together with a subtle jumper over a shirt. As soon as the sun is out you can best believe that this shirt will be worn with shorts and sunglasses. Sat on a beach somewhere, hopefully with a drink in my hand.

Shot in a blue bell wood – Pamphill

Photo cred – Hayden

I wore

Jeans- Primark | Shirt – Ralph Lauren (vintage) | Jumper – And Other Stories | Shoes – Converse* ( via Footway)

Mom Jeans and Leather Jacket

Can you believe it’s May already? Where is the year going? It feels like two seconds ago it was my birthday and that was in January. I can’t wait for the sun to stay out longer then a day so I can  wear dresses and live at the beach all summer long.

Spring dressing is so hard when you live in the UK the cold seams to linger around much longer the needed. I’ve found my spring uniform for this year.

A cropped T shirt, mom jeans and a leather jacket. This one is vintage and was a total bargain. I really learnt from the best when it comes to vintage/antique/charity shopping.

The colour transitions from winter into spring the earthy tones are given new life though cream trainers, and pale blue mom jean. If the sun does pop out, whip the jacket off and enjoy the sun on your skin. When it’s cloudy grab your jacket and dash to the nearest coffee shop for a cuppa.

The tote bag was made by my amazing PR team at uni we sold these bad boys and many others to raise money for a local domestic violence charity. If you are interested in carrying your shopping in something other then a plastic bag.

I wore  Jeans – Primark | T shirt – Topshop | Jacket – Vintage | Trainers – Converse* | Charity tote bag

Pom Pom Jumper & Palm Dress

Squint and I’m at some cool garden party networking brunch, but in reality i’m in my grandma’s garden. She’s got such green fingers her garden looks amazing all year round.

I’m feeling this look so much, worn for my mums birthday to just communicate that she means more to me then me wearing my usual boring uniform. When your mum has a birthday, you pull the stops out you make an effort. Show your appreciation through your outfit choice. If you saw in my Insta stores I wore this look to Stewarts Garden Centre then Networking (it’s the outfit for every occasion) It’s the versatile outfit of the season, you saw it here first ( kidding).

This look was such a talking point at the networking even i went to,  that someone said I made their day by wearing it. When you are self employed you can wear what you like, you can break the mould of suits and corporate wear.

I wore

jumper – H&M || dress – Kaliko similar  || shoes* Converse || bag – Lulu Guinness || charm -Lulu Guinness