Comparing, Compromise and Confidence

A post in the parts

Compare – ‘to examine two objects in order to note similarities and differences’.
Is it natural to compare myself to others constantly? Noticing where my friends succeed in comparison to my failers? The continuous notion of feeling a lesser version of myself based on an outward portrayal of others. This is easily manifested in social media. Watching people I digitally admire galavant around the world through my phone screen. Does this enrich my life or more importantly my personal well being?
In so few a words. Yes.

Knowing where I sit in the world is comforting, comparing yourself, if done right, motivates me to achieve and succeed. Does it matter that my friends have finished university at 22 and I still have a year left at 24? No. It matters that I am at university doing what I love and we are in the same position of working out where we stand in the world together.
Comparing yourself to be like someone else is a waste of time. You will never be that person. So don’t waste your time trying to be. Be inspired or motivated by your comparisons, but be who you are. Find your interests and use them to your advantage. In primary school, I used to get bullied for wearing clothes I loved. I questioned my choices and actions and tried to fit in with the ‘popular people’. Even after these modifications, I was still me but in the wrong body. I wanted to wear my favourite clothes but wore what everyone else had, and was still picked this time for trying to fit in. I learnt from my mum that if you can’t join them beat them. I wore exactly what I wanted and stopped comparing myself to people who aren’t my peers.
I compare.

Compromise.
Compromise – ‘acceptance of standards that are lower than is desirable’.
I hold myself to the highest standards, on purpose because I know my capabilities. I’ve always known what I’ve wanted and stuck up for it. I don’t compromise, my personal feelings or my outward emotions. If I’m pissed off, you’ll know.
that saying ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’. Is total rubbish, if you’ve been hurt, pissed off, or mad as hell, let it be known. Shout from the roof tops. My voice won’t be quashed by being polite, I won’t compromise for the benefit of not hurting you when you have hurt me.
I won’t compromise.

Confidence
‘the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something’.
Having confidence within in yourself comes with time, I’ve learnt that the hard way. I was never confident in my capabilities, knowledge, personality, any part of my life. I was a shell of who I was meant to be. That awkward teen stage hit me hard. I retreated within myself. I felt like everyone was so together and charming, yet I couldn’t string a sentence together in front of a stranger. Then I got my first job, working in a clothing shop and earning some pocket money gave me freedom and confidence to do things I’d have never done before. The unattainable was now within grasp. A Lulu Guinness bag I had wanted for months was my first purchase when I got paid, it cleared my account but it didn’t matter. I had this bag and nothing could stop me. The bag was symbolic of my arrival into myself. My confidence came from a purchase that meant something to me and it just went from there. I tried new things and sucked at most of them, then tried more, made friends had adventures. not I can crack jokes and be charming in front of strangers and not care.
I am confident.

I WORE

Dress- Miss Suki | Jeans – Primark | Shoes – Dr Martens | Bag – Stella McCartney | Earrings – ( old sorry) sunglasses – Forever21 (old)

60’s Summer Dress

If only this was my bike and I could have ridden around all day with Hayden not having a care in the world. Instead, we explored by foot.

I’m trying out headscarves at the moment, what do you think? Are they past it? As a teen, I used to always wear something in my hair and have since lost the skill.

Dress – Vintage ( there are dresses on Etsy, from Lazarus) | head scarf – vintage | trainers – Converse* | Bag – Fiorucci | Earrings – Tommy Hilfiger

Monochrome Summer Style

black in summer is so underrated. Black pieces against pale skin or a more glowing complexion black can take any look form a 5 to and 8 instantly. black dresses are timeless and chic and perfect for running around town in or sitting in a beer garden soaking up the sun. This little one I’ve had for years and has never failed me. The underskirt needs a little attention but it’s so flattering and the perfect length to tan my pins. Worn with the perfect ‘business’ jacket from LOTD and white trainers with contrasting laces.

I wore

dress- Similar, Similar | jacket – LOTD | Trainers – Converse* | Sunglasses – Boohoo

Genderless Clothing & Paleontology

Dippy – Diplodocus | Dorset County Museum 

 Dippy stayed in the Victorian hall which is very fitting for a globe trotting dino. He/She wouldn’t have settled for anything less. Dippy is over 100 years old and tours the globe inspiring new generations of scientists. The next Ross Geller could be among us.

I learnt so much about Dippy but couldn’t find Dips gender, which ties in perfectly to my T-shirt. It’s genderless clothing from Zara. Designed with no gender boundaries other then making a cute shirt for anyone to buy. Of course you can shop in either section no matter what just I really enjoy the inclusivity that Zara are promoting.

If you do get the chance to see Dippy in their tour of the UK please do, you’ll learn a lot and get to be Ross for a day. Next Stop Birmingham.

 

I wore

Genderless t shirt – Zara | Jeans – Primark | Shoes – Converse via footway*

Mom Jeans and Leather Jacket

Can you believe it’s May already? Where is the year going? It feels like two seconds ago it was my birthday and that was in January. I can’t wait for the sun to stay out longer then a day so I can  wear dresses and live at the beach all summer long.

Spring dressing is so hard when you live in the UK the cold seams to linger around much longer the needed. I’ve found my spring uniform for this year.

A cropped T shirt, mom jeans and a leather jacket. This one is vintage and was a total bargain. I really learnt from the best when it comes to vintage/antique/charity shopping.

The colour transitions from winter into spring the earthy tones are given new life though cream trainers, and pale blue mom jean. If the sun does pop out, whip the jacket off and enjoy the sun on your skin. When it’s cloudy grab your jacket and dash to the nearest coffee shop for a cuppa.

The tote bag was made by my amazing PR team at uni we sold these bad boys and many others to raise money for a local domestic violence charity. If you are interested in carrying your shopping in something other then a plastic bag.

I wore  Jeans – Primark | T shirt – Topshop | Jacket – Vintage | Trainers – Converse* | Charity tote bag

Pom Pom Jumper & Palm Dress

Squint and I’m at some cool garden party networking brunch, but in reality i’m in my grandma’s garden. She’s got such green fingers her garden looks amazing all year round.

I’m feeling this look so much, worn for my mums birthday to just communicate that she means more to me then me wearing my usual boring uniform. When your mum has a birthday, you pull the stops out you make an effort. Show your appreciation through your outfit choice. If you saw in my Insta stores I wore this look to Stewarts Garden Centre then Networking (it’s the outfit for every occasion) It’s the versatile outfit of the season, you saw it here first ( kidding).

This look was such a talking point at the networking even i went to,  that someone said I made their day by wearing it. When you are self employed you can wear what you like, you can break the mould of suits and corporate wear.

I wore

jumper – H&M || dress – Kaliko similar  || shoes* Converse || bag – Lulu Guinness || charm -Lulu Guinness

Vintage Summer

Finding vintage dresses to wear this summer has become my favourite past time. I scooped this one a few weeks ago along with two others that I can’t wait to show you. The capped sleeves, the original cream buttons, it’s a vintage dream. I was super tempted to cut the hem shorter, but love the more conservative look at the length it is.

 Paired with burnt orange/red slippers which are all over the shops at the moment. Mine are Primark and were such a bargain, I’ve my eye one a pair from Public Desire, that are way more extra then these. A wicker basket that is fit for a summer in Italy or at your local beach. Of course you need a pair of purple glasses. They defuse the the orange tone in the sun light, which means you can actually walk around without squinting, also no need to take them off when stopping into stores to buy water and ice-cream.

The ultimate vintage summer look.

I wore

dress- vintage

shoes – Primark

bag – similar

glasses – Romwe

After next week, there will be alot of new posts coming your way. How to shop vintage and where. Summer looks, stay-cations, vacations, university and a “mature student”, Vinted Everything.

Harmonics

Harmonics in Space at the NOW Gallery in Greenwich London.

Such an immersive experience, shoes removed and head phones in, you are encouraged to spend time just being in the space. Harmonics in Space was designed by Fred Butler to combat SAD and to slow yourself from society. The cinematic music was created by Nature Boy to fill your head, and to calm yourself within the 30minutes you have in the space.

I wore

mom jeans – Primark | striped blouse – Zara | necklace – here

High-low Day to Night

Frolicking in a field v.s. freezing in the snow. I wanted to shoot this top for so long. I took it to Paris but never wore it. So in a free moment with Hayden we went and shot in a field somewhere. Then it snowed and I couldn’t pass up the chance to wear it in the snow.

How to wear an evening look during the day.

The easiest way to wear an evening look during the day is trainers. Simple mono chrome, tonal trainers/sneakers. Mine are Converse* from Footway, They have faired so well and look amazing still and are the easiest shoes to clean. And nude lips as soon as you whack a lip on it’s a completely different look.

Just by adding come key elements you can change the look completely. Add a luxurious coat. Thins heavily one is a vintage inspired one from M&S and is so versatile. It’s not a classic trench but more a 70’s hair band style coat.

Accessories to add to make this look an evening looks is a small handbag. This Folli Follie one is perfect, fits just the essentials and adds that pop of colour. Purple is a big colour this season. Jewellery is always a safer bet in the evening. Go for gold for a classic look or silver to be more modern.

I wore

Jeans – Primark

Top – Stella Morgan comes in white, black and red.

Coat – M&S alternative

boots – New Look

Converse* – Footway

Bag – Folli Follie

Earrings – Similar

Sunglasses – Primark

Topshop in Paris

Forever trying to get that shot. This pillar was so high but looks so small. I was so nervous, thinking I’d end up in french A&E from falling off it. So ridiculous I was shaking like a leaf.

A love poem to my new coat…

It’s long, it’s blue I wore it to the lo(uvre) …?

I am obsessed with this coat. Full credit to my friend Marshaine for showing it to me because I love it so much. I needed a new coat to replace my red one (which is falling apart) and I can’t get enough of it. The coat reaches my knees which is such a comfort for me because I am so tall and over sized things just look average on me. The high pockets, lets talk about the pockets. They just under the boob area, also knows as the waist. Giving the coat some shape and to not make it look like i’m wearing a sack.

Hair in a low bun because that Parisian wind in no joke. Later in the day we went up the Arch de Triumphe and my hair was all over the place so a chic low bun was the only option.

I WORE

Coat – Topshop

Jeans – Primark

Shoes – Converse*

Bag – Calvin Klein ( Vintage)

Photos take by Hayden at the Palais Royal